Saying Too Much
by ShadeOfSolace
Summary: The universe picked a bad time for Kaiba to be stuck inside a library with Yami. If only he could keep his mouth shut…Yaoi, Slash, Kaiba/Yami


Title: Saying Too Much

Author: ShadeOfSolace (AKA Shay361 or Shade Shavaya)  
Pairing: Yami/Kaiba

Genre/Fandom: Fanfiction, Yugioh  
Rating: PG-13 for homosexual kissage and slight language.  
Summary: The universe picked a bad time for Kaiba to be stuck inside a library with Yami. If only he could keep his mouth shut…Yaoi, Slash, Kaiba/Yami

Author's Note: So, we'll see how OOC these two are. I normally try to write closer to their personalities, but this kind of came out. The setting would be around season two or so, slightly before or after battle city. I've split Yami and Yugi for my own purposes and the ending is kind of open, so imagine what you will. Thanks for reading!

Seto Kaiba leaned his head against the shelf and thought of how this could be worse. He could be in the Amazon, in the middle of the river, fighting a crocodile with piranhas biting at his feet and an anaconda approaching. He could be stuck in the Antarctic, alone, with no shelter or food as night approached. He could still be stuck in Pegasus' soul card, as far away from his brother as he could get and in utter depression. He shut his eyes, counted to ten, and thought of how good he had it. When he had calmed down, he straightened his back and looked to the right of him where Yami Motou was smirking at the end of the aisle. Forget it. Nothing was worse than this.

He sighed. He should have waited to go looking for that last book on European business etiquette. He knew the library would close soon, he just hadn't expected it to close with him inside. And, even in that unlikely event, he hadn't expected to be locked in for the night with Yami Motou. He couldn't afford this. He had a flight to catch tomorrow night to England and a week's worth of work to be done before then. Not to mention packing. He hated packing.

But there was nothing to be done for it. He had already tried the doors and found them locked and to his dismay the windows in the place didn't even open. He supposed he could break them. First though, he would check the back. Maybe there was a back door or fire exit somewhere. He started off toward the back of the library when Yami called out, "Don't bother. I've already checked."

He stopped in his tracks and turned. It was the first thing either of them had said to the other since learning of their predicament. Kaiba debated checking the back anyway, but decided against it. Yami was a lot of things, but he was observant. If there was a back door, he would have found it.

Kaiba leaned his back against the shelf. "I don't have _time_ for this."

"From what I've seen, you don't have time for anything." Kaiba turned his head, expecting to find Yami smirking, but he wasn't. Instead, his expression was carefully neutral.

"When you have a company to run and a younger sibling to take care of, it's not wise to be inefficient."

Yami inclined his head down in a mock bow. "I'm sure Mokuba appreciates your….efficiency." His expression was still stoic, but his eyes shinned with mirth.

Kaiba was tired of being on the defensive. "You wouldn't know anything about it. All you and your friends do is _play_."

"No," the other said, sounding offended, "All Yugi and his friends do is play. I, on the other hand, occasionally delve into serious matters."

That's right. Kaiba had forgotten. It was hard nowdays to keep the two apart, especially since the last shadow realm game had left them with two separate bodies. Kaiba often forgot that the person standing in front of him had none of that shy, innocent, young attitude that Yugi displayed.

"Is that what you were doing down here?" Kaiba asked, "Delving into serious matters?"

Yami looked away and cleared his throat. "I was doing research, yes…"

Kaiba snorted and Yami glared. "You were not. You weren't even looking at the books. If I didn't know better, I would think you were hiding."

Yami blushed. "I was not hiding."

Kaiba started. He had meant it as a joke. He hadn't though Yami had really been cowering in the corner of a library. "What on earth could make _you_ want to hide?"

Yami darted his eyes away, but smiled. Shit. Kaiba hadn't meant for the subtle compliment to slip out, but it had. "I didn't want to face Tea again."

"Tea? You're afraid of a girl?"

Yami glared. "Not 'afraid of.' Just…uncomfortable."

"Why? Do you like her or something?" Kaiba mentally smacked himself. That was too personal a question. He didn't really want to know. And besides, personal questions directed at others often meant others directing personal questions back at him and that he should avoid at all costs.

But, to his relief, Yami didn't answer. Instead he walked away, toward the check out desk. Kaiba let him go, but couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. He heard the click of drawers being opened, but ignored it. Maybe he could find that book anyway. He could study it, like he had planned to, and then at least something would be done. He began to head to the correct section when he heard Yami call out for him.

Reluctantly he walked over to the desk. The other was sitting cross-legged on the floor, his back resting against the wood, holding up a box of Cheez-Its and a couple bottles. "Hungry?"

Kaiba shrugged and sat down beside him, reaching for the box. "Where did you get this?"

"Librarian's private stash." They fell into silence after that, each lost in his own world before Yami said, "She likes me."

"What?" Kaiba asked, having completely lost the thread of the conversation.

"Tea," he looked down and sighed, "She likes me."

"Oh." He paused, "Is that a bad thing? I mean, don't get me wrong, _I _don't like the girl, but she's….alright, I guess." God, why was he being so nice tonight? It must be the lack of sleep. He shouldn't be this…conversational.

Yami shook his head. "She's not my type."

"Too ordinary, huh? I guess I can see that. I mean you were a Pharaoh, right? You have to have some standards."

Yami frowned. "That's not what I meant." Kaiba rolled his eyes and took a drink from the bottle. "I mean, if she had a dick it would be different."

Kaiba choked on the liquid going down his throat which resulted in a coughing fit. Yami turned to him and settled a hand on his arm. "Are you alright?'

The fingers felt like they were burning through the fabric of his shirt. He jerked away and his coughing fit lessened. When he turned back to Yami, the other boy's expression had turned from guarded to extreme seriousness. His eyes were cold. He stood up and moved to walk away.

"I don't like to be touched," Kaiba said, understanding what Yami had thought his moving away had meant, "It's not….that…I just don't like to be touched. By anyone."

From the look on his face, he didn't believe him. Yami sighed. "I don't know why I told you. I should have expected it. You're intolerant toward everything else, why should homosexuality be any different?"

That hit home. Kaiba was frustrated and upset. He should leave, he told himself. Break the window and crawl out. Or at least, go to the other side of the library. Instead, he found himself saying, "I'm not homophobic. I can promise you that."

Yami rolled his eyes and took a couple more steps away. "I mean," Kaiba continued, trying to stop himself before he said it and failing, "it would be hypocritical of me."

The other boy stopped, but didn't turn back. Kaiba thought he should say something else, but he couldn't find any words that sounded right. He hung his head. He had never told anyone before. Not even Mokuba. God he was an idiot. Yami could ruin him for life now. It would be breaking news. He supposed he could deny it, one person's word against another. He pictured the press conferences, the tabloids. Shit, he was in trouble.

He heard the others footsteps as they approached him. Neither said a word and Kaiba didn't look up. Eventually, Yami sat down beside him again. "I told her that I was gay. But she's persistent. That's why I was hiding."

Kaiba let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. He glanced sideways at Yami, who was looking back at him. The other boy reached out slowly toward a strand of hair that had fallen into Kaiba's eyes, but stopped just short and pulled back. "Why don't you like to be touched?"

There were a lot of reasons Kaiba could have cited that made sense. Instead, he said the only truthful one. "It reminds me of what I can't have." His voice was barely a whisper, small in the enclosed space of the library, a secret from him to Yami.

"You could—"

"No, I can't," Kaiba said, not wanting to hear it.

Yami nodded. "I see. You're ashamed of it, aren't you?"

"No, it's not that."

Yami furrowed his brow. "What then?"

Kaiba swallowed hard. This was too personal, too much. "I've…" he took a deep breath and continued, "I've built a life for Mokuba. We were orphans with nothing and I didn't want that for him. I've clawed my way to the top and every moment of every day I have to protect that status, that reputation or it will all come falling down and we'll have nothing again. It's all I think about. Maintaining. There are so many people that would attack me if they saw even one ounce of weakness. And, to be out, for everyone to know…well, being gay isn't exactly synonymous with 'we should leave that guy alone.' I mean, it shouldn't be that way, but it is."

"So, you're just going to pretend all you life?"

"I'm not pretending. Do you see me with a girlfriend, with a wife? I'm gay. I know I am. But everyone else doesn't have to know."

"But you could never have a relationship that way."

"I know." His voice wasn't sad or longing, just matter-of-fact and he could see how it had affected the other.

Yami looked at him in confusion. "Why would you do that to yourself?"

"I'm doing it for my brother. So that he can have a better life. A normal life. He doesn't deserve to have his only relative ridiculed and shamed. What would that do to him?"

"But what is this doing to you?"

Kaiba was frustrated. "Why do you care?"

Yami blushed and looked away, but not quickly enough. Kaiba had seen the emotion in his eyes. "I just don't like to see anyone hurt," Yami said.

Kaiba swallowed. They sat in silence for awhile, Kaiba watching Yami out of the corner of his eyes. The boy looked nervous and would occasionally lift his head as if to say something and then lower it. Finally he scooted himself closer to Kaiba, where they were almost, but not quite touching. Kaiba could feel the heat.

"Sacrificing yourself isn't worth it," Yami whispered, "Believe me. The risk is worth the reward, every time." Kaiba looked up at him and didn't see the teenage boy, but the ancient Pharaoh. Yami smiled sadly. "I know what you're doing and I know it won't make anyone happy."

Kaiba's heart was pounding and the other boy was too close. Their faces were leaned together and it wasn't just Yami's fault. Kaiba felt as if he was on the precipice of a great change.

"Isn't it worth it?" Yami asked, softly, and then he leaned in a couple of inches more and they were kissing. For how intense both of them were in their other actions, the kiss was surprisingly soft at first. Yami reached up slowly and touched the side of Kaiba's neck. He flinched as the fingers lay across his skin but sighed into the kiss, opening his mouth. Yami's tongue followed and Kaiba's hand itched to touch skin. He reached up and touched Yami's bare arm, sliding his hand up his shoulder and toward the back of his head. A soft sound came out of Yami's throat and Kaiba pulled him in harder.

It became needy, the two of them pressed against each other, Yami pushing Kaiba back against the desk. His other hand pressed against Kaiba's chest and Kaiba jerked at the sudden movement. Yami released him quickly and sat back. Kaiba avoided his eyes. "I'm sorry," Yami said, touching his knee. Kaiba twitched again and Yami removed his hand. "Sorry." He paused. "I shouldn't have even…"

He trailed off, but Kaiba finished the sentence in his head. _Kissed you_. Kissed, he thought, we kissed. Kaiba finally looked at him, about to say something—he wasn't sure what—when the door banged open. Both of them scrambled to their feet, Yami knocking over the box of Cheez-Its which scattered orange crackers across the floor.

"There you are!" In the doorway stood Joey and Tristan.

"How did you find me?" Yami asked, walking toward them.

"Oh, Tea said that she couldn't find you after class," Tristan explained, "and then Joey said he thought he saw you going into the library—"

"Him?" Kaiba said, unable to stop himself, "near a library? That's a laugh."

"Why you son of a b—" Tristan was able to grab Joey before he got too far.

"It's alright, Joey," Yami said, "Let's just go home."

"Alright, man," Joey said to Yami in a friendly voice. Then he turned to Kaiba and pointed a finger at him. "I'm watching you, moneybags."

"Ooohhh," Kaiba said and faked a shiver, "I'm so scared."

Joey glared, but he and Tristan were headed out the door already, Tristan going on about how hard it had been to find someone to let them into the library. Yami turned back to Kaiba once they were out the door. He stepped up close to the other teen, tilting his head to look in his eyes. "No one will know how selfless you are Kaiba," he whispered, "but you should really think this through. Would you do that?" Yami lowered his gaze and then looked up through his eyelashes in an expression that made Kaiba suck his breath in.

Kaiba nodded. "I'll _think_ about it."

Yami smiled and turned to leave.

"Yami?"

"What?" Yami asked, turning back a little too eagerly.

"You won't tell anyone, will you?"

He shook his head. "No. Not if you don't want me to. Even if I have to keep that secret for another three thousand years."

Kaiba felt the corner of his mouth lifting in a genuine smile and they nodded to each other and went their separate ways.


End file.
